Why Pain and Threat Don’t Sell Anymore: Reimagining Sales for Human Beings

By Dr. Joseph Riggio & Henrik Wenøe

The dominant sales methods of the 20th century were based on a simple idea: Find the customer’s pain. Exploit it. Close the deal. But in a world shaped by complexity, trauma-awareness, and self-authorship, this approach is not only outdated – it’s harmful.

Executive Summary

This white paper presents a comparative analysis of three influential sales philosophies: The Art of the Deal (Donald J. Trump), traditional pain/problem-focused methodologies – which could be called “deficit-based selling” or “problem-centric selling,” but which we’ll refer to here simply as Stretch Selling – and the transformational model based on a paradigm shift to satisfying needs and desires: Satisfaction Selling, developed and applied globally by Henrik Wenøe and grounded in the Satisfaction Cycle created by Dr. Joseph Riggio.

Donald Trump is widely seen by many as a highly successful businessman, and a core component of success in business is the ability to make effective deals, persuade others, and bring them along with your ideas. Since he became President of the United States, his negotiation style and leadership approach have become globally discussed and dissected – sparking renewed interest in his methodology outlined in The Art of the Deal. This offers a unique opportunity to include his approach in a comparative analysis, positioned alongside traditional sales techniques and the emerging Satisfaction Selling method.

By examining these three models – The Art of the Deal, Stretch Selling, and Satisfaction Selling—we aim to better understand what is happening in the world of influence, persuasion, and business relationships today, and to explore what may be needed for individuals, organizations, and societies to move forward in healthier, more sustainable ways.

This paper ultimately advocates for a shift in sales mindset—from outdated models of coercive persuasion and pressure to modern approaches rooted in collaboration, resonance, and human dignity.

1. Introduction: The Evolution of Sales

For decades, traditional sales frameworks have operated on the assumption that customers act only when sufficiently aware of their problems. This “pain-focused” paradigm birthed models such as SPIN Selling, Challenger Sales, GAP Selling, Solution Selling, Value Selling and Strategic Selling. These methodologies share a diagnostic and urgency-driven approach, pushing customers to recognize a gap or deficiency.

However, we are witnessing a cultural and psychological shift in how people make decisions. Customers are no longer moved solely by fear or dissatisfaction. Instead, modern decision-makers increasingly seek meaning, growth, and alignment with their values. Satisfaction Selling responds to this change by replacing pain with aspiration and replacing manipulation with mutual transformation.

2. Sales Philosophy Comparison Matrix

3. The Neuroscience of Satisfaction and Decision-Making

The primary distinction between Trump’s “Art of the Deal” and all problem-centric Stretch Selling models and Satisfaction Selling is neurocognitive, creating entirely different responses and response potential based on what we now know about adult human brain functioning. 

The most fundamental aspect of the neurocognitive distinction is the shift from threat/fear-based motivation to desire/reward-based motivation. Neurochemically we can say this is the distinction between driving the system forward on adrenaline and cortisol versus serotonin and dopamine. The dopaminergic reward system is the basis for intrinsic motivation which is stable and lingers even when the external motivators, e.g., the salesperson, is no longer present.1

Threat/Fear-based motivation activates the neural circuits of the Sympathetic Autonomous Nervous system designed to avoid or escape, more commonly referred to as the flight/fight/freeze response. In sales, this is the basis of resistance, objections, and rejection. 

Desire/Reward-based motivation activates the neural circuits of the Parasympathetic Autonomus Nervous system inducing a state of calm relaxation known as arousal by neuroscientists and is more commonly referred to as interest and attraction. In sales, this leads to acceptance and satisfaction. 

Triggering what is known as the exciatory bias of the brain is the way to activate the desire/reward-based response. This is an open mental state where there is curiosity and interest in discovering what’s available and possible. This happens when you point toward positive experiences and future possibilities, 

The alternative is activating the inhibitory bias that triggers the threat/fear-based response and avoidance, attack, or shutting down of interest or openness to receiving new or additional information, which is automatically processed as potentially damaging or dangerous. This is the unavoidable result of eliciting, exposing, and exploiting problems to generate motivation.2

When the excitatory bias is triggered a secondary effect is to activate the Default Mode Network in the brain that is responsible for creating meaning and capturing it as a narrative or story, including stories about the future and the relationship of present opportunities to future reward. When the inhibitory bias is triggered via problem-centric models of selling the Task-Positive Network is activated driving the system to survival reactivity. These are powerful sub-systems of the nervous system that hijack thinking and preference the direction of all response that follow.3

Finally, we should mention that an essential aspect of Satisfaction Selling is that the premise begins with the idea of the salesperson beginning from being in the excitatory bias themselves, what we refer to as the Green State versus the Red State of the inhibitory bias. Given what we now know about mirror neurons and establishing trust this immediately creates a more positive context for the sale to take place and flow with greater acceptance and without resistance.4

1 Lisa Feldman Barrett (constructed emotions), 2 Stephen Porges (polyvagal theory), 3 Daniel Kahneman (fast/slow thinking), 4 Antonio Damasio (somatic markers)

4. Stretch Selling: The Legacy of Pain-Based Models

Stretch Selling refers to the family of structured, diagnostic sales models that focus on uncovering the customer’s pain, highlighting a gap between their current and desired states, and presenting the seller’s offer as the bridge.

Core characteristics of Stretch Selling:

• Pain and dissatisfaction as primary motivators
• Structured questioning and diagnosis
• Salesperson as expert and persuader
• Conversion as the ultimate goal

While effective in certain environments, these approaches often ignore the customer’s strengths, values, and intrinsic motivation. They may succeed in closing deals but risk undermining trust, long-term engagement, and satisfaction.

5. The Art of the Deal: Vision, Leverage, and Media Power

Donald Trump’s The Art of the Deal is a bold, self-assured narrative about how to win in business negotiations. Though not a formal sales model, it reveals a tactical mindset centered on leverage, confidence, and public perception.

Key themes:

• Think big and generate buzz
• Know your market and maximize leverage
• Always be ready to walk away
• Use the press as a strategic tool
• Deliver quality to maintain credibility

Though results-driven and occasionally effective, the model relies on positioning, power dynamics, and personal gain. It lacks the relational and developmental dimensions critical to modern sales cultures.

The reality is that Trump’s “Art of the Deal” model isn’t a persuasion model at all; it’s a power play based on coercion and built around domination, lacking any collaborative function. It relies on impression management, manipulation, and the illusion of certainty—tools of an era obsessed with authority and control. This can work, but the costs are enormous in terms of relationship.

For example, one very well-known model of negotiation is based on the premise that you have two leverage functions in human interactions that seek to create results with or through others, relationship and outcome. This can be described in a two-by-two graph with one axis showing the emphasis degree of relationship and the other axis the degree of emphasis on outcome. If the relationship is overly emphasized at the cost of the outcome, the parties might find one another extremely agreeable but don’t achieve anything individually or together. If, on the other hand, the outcome is emphasized at the cost of the relationship, one party will get what they want while the other party suffers and there is a total loss of relationship. Only when there is a balance between relationship and outcome can both parties get what they want, and the relationship is sustained through time. Trump’s model of the “Art of the Deal” is a coercive model that only emphasizes outcome, including creating external pressure for multiple sources. This model is a game of chess played in a hall of mirrors. 

The Satisfaction Selling model seeks to balance relationship and outcome equally to produce both immediate and long-term results. It does this in part by leveraging emotional well-being as the lever in creating motivation following the work of Martin Siegelman’s PERMA model attributes, i.e., positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and accomplishment.

We can summarize the distinctions of the models we are examining in this way:

• Stretch Selling (urgency, push, resistance)

• Art of the Deal (power plays, walking away)

• Satisfaction Selling (exploration, alignment, commitment)
  

6. Satisfaction Selling: A Human-Centered Alternative

Satisfaction Selling introduces a shift in paradigm:

• From problem to possibility
• From pressure to partnership
• From persuasion to purpose

This model encourages the salesperson to:

• Engage the customer from a strong and positive present state
• Explore aspirations and meaningful goals (the “Burning Desire”)
• Align offerings with personal or organizational values
• Use tools like the Satisfaction Cycle model and Mythogenic Structure to uncover deeper motivations

Benefits of Satisfaction Selling:

• Builds authentic, trust-based relationships
• Strengthens the customer’s self-leadership and decision-making
• Creates sustainable and repeatable success

Foundational Models:
Satisfaction Selling is rooted in the Satisfaction Cycle, designed by Dr. Joseph Riggio, which provides the underlying psychological and strategic architecture. Over the past 20 years, Henrik Wenøe has expanded this into applied frameworks such as the Customer Development Strategy, which helps companies develop more super-satisfied customers—what we call Positive Activists.

7. Points of Convergence

Despite their differences, The Art of the Deal and Satisfaction Selling share certain traits:

• Emphasis on vision and aspiration
• Strategic use of context and timing
• Recognition of the value of long-term relationships

However, the similarities end with tactics. Satisfaction Selling is grounded in empathy, ethics, and long-term transformation, not dominance.

8. Contextual Applications: When to Use Which Approach

Each of the three sales approaches has its own context in which it may offer advantages or face limitations:

The Art of the Deal works best in:

• High-stakes, short-term negotiations
• Zero-sum or winner-takes-all environments
• Media-intensive or brand-driven industries

Limitations:

• May damage trust in relationship-driven sales
• Risks creating adversarial dynamics with customers

Stretch Selling is suitable for:

• Mid-level B2B environments with well-defined problems
• Transactional sales where urgency is needed
• Commoditized products where differentiation is minimal

Limitations:

• Can feel manipulative or intrusive
• Often neglects long-term satisfaction or customer growth

Satisfaction Selling excels in:

• High-value, complex sales
• Consulting, solution, or transformation-based services
• Situations requiring long-term trust and mutual development
• Organizations seeking healthy profit and reduced customer churn

Limitations:

• Requires deeper training and commitment from the salesforce
• Less effective in fast, low-value, price-sensitive transactions

9. Conclusion: Sales as a Transformational Practice

The era of manipulation is over. The new sales professional isn’t a closer – they’re a catalyst. Sales is no longer about overcoming objections. It’s about opening new realities.

– Joseph Riggio and Henrik Wenøe

The future of sales lies not in stronger techniques to expose weakness, but in better conversations that reveal strength. While Stretch Selling will continue to influence many organizations, and The Art of the Deal may apply in specialized negotiations, it is time to evolve:

• From fixing pain to fostering potential
• From short-term wins to long-term impact
• From manipulation to meaning

Satisfaction Selling offers a tested, ethical, and empowering path forward. It transforms sales from a transactional endeavor into a leadership practice that benefits both seller and customer.

Yet, Satisfaction Selling is not for everyone. It delivers the greatest value in contexts where depth, trust, and development matter most – not quick fixes or aggressive tactics. When used appropriately, it leads to healthier profits, lower churn, and a higher lifetime value per customer.

Read more about Satisfaction Selling here 

About the Authors
Dr. Joseph Riggio is the designer of the Satisfaction Cycle and a global authority on transformational communication, performance modeling, and decision architecture. His work provides the foundation for the Satisfaction Selling methodology.

Henrik Wenøe is founder of Acuity World and the creator of the Customer Development Strategy and Positive Activist concepts. With over two decades of international training experience, he specializes in empowering professionals in sales, leadership, and personal development.